There was a time when Morrissey was one of the most exciting, charismatic and coolest frontmen of all time. Seriously, go and watch The Smiths perform ‘This Charming Man’ on Top of the Pops and tell me it’s nothing less than iconic. The quiff, the deep croon, the eccentric yet charming clothing, he had it all. However, his latest album, Low in High School, sees him take the final plummet from social pariah to the creepy uncle at a wedding. Low in High School is ghoulish, sordid and, at times, just plain dull. This is the final nail in the coffin of one of the most iconic men in alternative music.

When Morrissey signed to new label BMG, they described him as “Prodigious, literate, witty, elegant and, above all, courageous. His lyrics, humour and melodies have influenced many generations”. Which begs the question as to where this appears on the album. In fact, all he seems interested in is callous sexual acts. On ‘Home Is A Question Mark’, he beseeches you to “Wrap your legs around my face”, while elsewhere on ‘In Your Lap’ he callously declares: “I just want my face in your lap”. All of this is without mentioning the vilely titled ‘When You Open Your Legs’.

Elsewhere, in typical Morrissey style, he’s once again exploring a political background – this time very much in the Middle East. Easily the worst song on the album, ‘I Bury the Living’ is a seven-minute plodder of a song where Moz taunts a member of the armed forces and, after he dies in action, belittles his bereaved. It’s a tasteless, smug, condescending song that is a complete misstep. Likewise, album closer ‘Israel’ offers a neurotic vocal and clumsily written lyrics offering Morrissey’s haphazard analysis of the Arabian-Israel conflict.

There are some good moments, though. Lead single ‘Spent the Day in Bed’, in complete contrast to the rest of the album, is a fun, tongue-in-cheek look at the overwhelmingly depressing world we live in today. Its strange, curmudgeon lyrics are actually quite pleasant and, in an album devoid of elegance, it’s fresh and stimulating. Additionally there’s ‘Jacky’s Only Happy When She’s Up On The Stage’, an account of an actor whose enthusiasm exceeds her actual skill. It’s a gentle reminder of just how good a storyteller Morrissey can be, on top of being a meditating dark-pop with a bite.

The cynical hideousness far outweighs the good, however. There’s an ugliness to Low in High School. Essentially it’s a bitter portrait of a man that has gone so far into parody he’s lost in a pretentious, controversial void where nothing he says, sings or does really means anything any more. It’s a crying shame that a man that used to hold his head high with a good moral compass has fallen this low. When he’s not sordidly talking about his phallus he’s rambling on about politics in the style of a drunken pub rant. There’s a few decent songs on Low in High School but they’re very much overshadowed by the turgid. There’s a saying, “you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain” – and that’s the best way to describe Low in High School. The Smiths seems a very, very long time ago right now.

Liam McMillen

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